Opportunity Knocks

Well, it’s over two years later and I’m here, at the start of a new chapter. 

Where do I begin with all of this? Is it good enough? What do people want to read about? Why do you think they care? Is this even interesting? 

These questions feel like they literally propel me out of my chair (sofa, actually, because I’m going for comfort and cosiness these days) and over to the kettle which is still warm because I already did this silly dance about 20 minutes ago. I sit back down to write. 

I wrote about this back in 2022 and in a strange way, it’s comforting that I feel the same struggle now as I did back then. It means I am still me. 

“I am still me”. It might be a strange phrase to some, but when you spend time away, out of alignment from your true goals, it can feel a little like you’ve lost something. I wonder how many of us have had this sensation of being misaligned. The everyday symptoms rise like steam, forming a slow burning, intoxicating cloud of uncertainty and a lack of confidence which sabotages everything. Time feels like running water that you are desperate to dam and scramble to hold back and there’s this strange background buzz that must be shut down at all costs with Netflix, TikTok and podcasts. Netflix, TikTok and podcasts. Netflix, TikTok and pod–

“Hey how’s your music stuff going?!” 

Oh no. 

Cue my horribly false and erratic reply in which I justify having not done any gigs, written any new material, haven’t even touched the piano for about 6 weeks, “but hoping to get back to it soon!!”. I rush through my reply, desperate to push past this painful moment where I’m reminded of everything I haven’t been doing, and even more desperate to show that I’m happy with this state of play (if you pardon the pun). 

For months, the piano has been watching all of this. Eye rolling at me whenever I walk past  pretending I’ve got to do something else, immediately, that’s time sensitive and crucial. It knows what’s going on, but there’s only so much a piano can do.

It happened so quickly. A great opportunity arose. I followed it through and gave it everything. I don’t regret it. I’ve learned so much, in ways I never expected. But now it’s time to come back. 

The start of a new chapter. 

So I’m writing this blog post to declare, mostly to myself, that I’m back. I’m back writing, creating and stepping into who I want to be as an artist. This is the start of a new chapter and this time, I know so much more about where I want to go. It’s exciting! 

My plan with the blog is to write about this journey and hopefully, to bring you along with me. I’d love to know from fellow creative beings, how you develop resilience when life throws so many different curve balls, how you stay motivated and of course, how to bat away that critical voice of judgment when you’re trying to create something new. You know the one I mean. I don’t even need to banish it, in truth I’ve started to really appreciate this little gremlin, to learn from it. But I’d like to be able to return a serve, maybe rally at least, rather than be struck down.  

So your help and advice are very much welcome: how do you develop resistance? 

I’m excited for what’s to come, hope you are too.